Apr 012013
 

Google and Microsoft have teamed up to create the first open-source Post-Apocalyptic search engine. The new search engine code named “Bang!” heavily prioritizes results towards the walking dead, cockroaches, preppers and oddly enough Adam Sandler.

Bang! took years of preparation and teamwork by the two search giants who are rivals in most cases, but have come together to provide a specific helpful search appliance in case doomsday does befall us soon. The Armageddon algorithm relies on its “Prepper-Rank” coding and is top secret of course and even the FBI, CIA and NSA don’t know the content of the programming.

Now, let’s look and see if a worldwide natural or manmade disaster were to occur how the Post-Apocalyptic search engine would help. First, the Maps section would help those in all affected communities find food and shelter quickly.

The artificial intelligence portion of Bang! will quickly help one to decide whether to bug out or bug in. Local guns and ammo resources will quickly be outlined with the Bang! mobile app. And with the push of a button, any pending gun legislation in Congress will automatically be ejected from Washington DC.

And of course the Chuck Norris hotline and call center will be at one’s finger tips for rescue operations (and personal counseling). The local portion of the Post-Apocalyptic search engine will show where to get vaccines for radiation and pandemics plus the GPS coordinates of old, abandoned missile silos worldwide.

Perhaps the coolest feature of the Post-Apocalyptic search engine is that it was totally programmed by zombies. And of course the finish date on the project was April 1, the most foolish day of the year. :)

 

 Leave a Reply

(required)

(required)

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>